fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
