It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
