he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
