I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
