I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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