I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
