I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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