real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Plan B is the new Plan A
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
