using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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