dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I want to have your abortion
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
