come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
