College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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