okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
