Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
