its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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