I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
