a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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