how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
so much tequila, so little girl.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
