Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
