she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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