Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we're so committed to being not committed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
