It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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