Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
