There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
