You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
