i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
