Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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