please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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