No more Irish car bombs ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You may now shotgun with the bride
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
