I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
