Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
