I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
