I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
