And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
