how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
