quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
