too bad you live with your parents still
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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