based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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