New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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