If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He better not be in your backpack
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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