woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
