I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
