I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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