I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
