yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
