My first STD was from a foam party
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
