i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
