i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
