We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Someone shit on the floor
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
