I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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